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In the city of Athens,
\nin the fourth year of the
\nThirty-Year Truce with Sparta<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
I want you to behave meekly, and not at all like yourself,\u201d Alkibiades said, dragging me by the arm at a pace faster than my tall platform shoes would allow me to walk. \u201cIf Perikles sees what you are truly like, he will promptly rescind any offer to help us.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSlow down! You are bringing me to him like a slave to market!\u201d I protested.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Though it was very early in the day, the marketplace was crowded. The vendors had already set up their stalls, and the slave women were negotiating loudly with them for fish, cheese, olives, and oil, disturbing the tranquility of the morning. One of the women smelled a length of sausage, throwing it back in the vendor\u2019s face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cEverybody knows that you mix the offal of the cow with dog meat and try to pass it off as first-class sausage!\u201d she cried. \u201cMy master demands high quality!\u201d The man saw that I was an amused witness to this exchange, and he shook his head helplessly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nearby, a black-robed sophist walked with alacrity, posing questions to the young boys who raced to keep up with him; they were shouting \u201cYes, master\u201d and \u201cNo, master\u201d to the questions he asked while flailing his arms about like an angry bat. I slowed down to listen to the lesson, but Alkibiades jerked me away, dodging the peripatetic classroom and crossing the square, where moneylenders sat under colorful tents doing their daily business amid other sellers of goods.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For a hefty man, Alkibiades walked quickly, driven by his meanness and his desire to get me out of his household. How my sister tolerated him on top of her at night was beyond me. I knew that she complied; sleeping in the room next to theirs, I often heard his heavy grunting, followed by the sigh of release that brought blessed silence. Now, his belly shook from side to side as we trudged along, crossing the western side of the agora, where the Council House and many of the government buildings were organized. Hundreds of men were lined up in the shade of the buildings\u2019 colonnades.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAlkibiades! What are you doing with that tasty morsel? She\u2019s not your wife.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I heard a bunch of my brother-in-law\u2019s cronies cackling even before I turned around to see the smug faces and ever present paunches of men his age. They were standing in the jury lines\u2014the favorite daily pastime of interfering old men who had nothing better to do than pass judgment on their fellow Athenians. Perikles had passed a law that jurors had to be paid, and now the elders of the city fought for the privilege.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThis is my sister-in-law, if you must know,\u201d Alkibiades answered. \u201cI am taking her to meet Perikles to see if he will take her off my hands.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019ll take her off your hands,\u201d one of the men said. I looked down, not because I was shy, but because I had to prevent myself from cursing him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019d like to see a pretty little thing like that in my hands,\u201d said another. \u201cI need a young wife. The old one wore out and died on me!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This brought even more laughter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShe is an orphan with no dowry,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIn that case, she is not so pretty,\u201d the man replied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd she is a metic\u2014a foreigner\u2014so you can\u2019t marry her anyway,\u201d Alkibiades snapped, rushing past them. \u201cGood day, gentlemen. Can\u2019t keep the \u2018great man\u2019 waiting.\u201d He said it grudgingly, so that they would know that any groveling he was about to do before Perikles was a ruse. All the old men snickered, as if they shared his sentiment, and we sped away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We were to meet Perikles under the Painted Stoa, one of the many colonnades in the agora that protected the Athenians from the fierce July sun. I looked across the plateau to the Temple of Hephaestus, sun bouncing from its strong marble pillars, and then up to the Akropolis, where I could see men at work on the exterior of a temple to Athena Parthenos, at the moment a skeleton of marble columns that was supposed to become the most majestic building in Athens. I trembled to think that I was waiting to be introduced to the very man who was responsible for commissioning this grand monument.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kalliope, my sister, had braided ribbons into the crown of my long, light brown hair. I powdered my face to appear fairer, and I wore our mother\u2019s hammered gold necklace and matching earrings with little pearlescent tortoises. I borrowed my sister\u2019s platform sandals, since I knew that Perikles was tall and I wanted to appear statuesque rather than petite, with its implication of submissiveness. I had no aspiration of having him fall in love with me\u2014far from it. My highest ambition for the meeting was to be seen as a woman who was too respectable to serve in a brothel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKeep your head tilted nicely to the side and your eyes cast downward,\u201d my brother-in-law instructed me. \u201cDo not look Perikles straight in the face. That\u2019s a clear sign of insubordination in a woman, and I don\u2019t want you showing him your brazen ways.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My sister had met Alkibiades when he came to Miletus, where we were born; it was a coastal city in Ionia situated south of the great city of Ephesus, which had been fought over many times by Greeks and Persians. He had been exiled from Athens on a political charge and could not wait to return, Athens being the center of the world, as he liked to say, and the rest of it, her appendages. He always complained of my big appetite\u2014for food and for conversation and could not wait to \u201cunload\u201d me on a husband, some Attic farmer \u201cwho could keep my mouth full.\u201d While we traveled on the boat, leaving behind Miletus and everything we knew, he cautioned me to be quiet and soft-spoken while he shopped for a husband for me. He was worried that I would let on about my \u201cknowing,\u201d which would render me an unsuitable wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo man,\u201d he explained to me, \u201cwants the responsibility of maintaining a female relative, especially one such as you who is lousy at housework and who considers herself above drudgery. You\u2019re useless in my household. In my opinion, you\u2019d make a sorry wife, and an even sorrier slave. Pity the man I trick into marrying the likes of you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No amount of cajoling by Kalliope would cause him to treat me nicely. He did not like women such as myself. After our mother died, my sister, named after a Muse, but having none of the characteristics of one, had assumed most of the domestic responsibilities, and I grew up with the freedom of a motherless child. My father was amused by my verbal abilities and allowed me to go to the marketplace and listen to the lectures of Thales the Sage, who was first in wisdom among all astronomers. He had studied the stars in Egypt with the priests of higher learning, who taught him how to predict solar eclipses, making him seem more magician than scientist, until he wrote down the formulas by which such things could be foretold. From Thales, I learned the equations of geometry, for he said that it was important to understand space because all was contained within it. He taught us how to know the height of things by measuring shadow. He believed that the gods were in everything, an inexplicable intelligence that animated all living things as well as the natural forces. He spent hours explaining that there was no difference between life and death\u2014an argument that, at thirteen years old, I could not apprehend, and still cannot in any reasonable or practical way. It was my privilege to listen to his last lectures, as he was a very old man in those days. He died when I was fourteen, in the year of the fifty-eighth Olympiad, sitting in his chair watching an athletic competition. From him, I learned how to lay out an argument; how to reason my way through an incomprehensible, abstract thought with careful and persistent inquiry, allowing it to reveal itself to me slowly like a flower opening to the sun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYour father let you run wild in the marketplace,\u201d Alkibiades had said as we were crossing the sea to Athens. \u201cHe nearly ruined you for any man. Fortunately, you are pretty. That will go a long way toward getting someone to take you off my hands. And it shan\u2019t be a moment too soon for either my pleasure or my pocketbook.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But when we arrived in Athens, we discovered that Perikles, in an effort to limit citizenship, had just passed a law making marriage between an Athenian citizen and a metic illegal. Alkibiades was furious, thinking he was stuck with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter,\u201d he said. \u201cI can always sell you into prostitution or concubinage.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My sister pleaded with him, shedding many tears over this threat. \u201cPlease, dear husband, I could not live if my sister was forced to submit to such a fate.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIf you can convince her to keep quiet and be a good girl, I will try to help her,\u201d he said to Kalliope. But privately, he continued to threaten me with a life of prostitution. If he could prove that I had lost my virginity\u2014he said he could establish this by raping me\u2014under Athenian law he could sell me to a brothel and obtain a good sum of money.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My sister continued to beseech him to seek a respectable situation for me, so he decided to take his complaint directly to Perikles, whose law had spoiled any plans to marry me off, and who had just divorced his wife. Perikles assured Alkibiades that he would not change a new law for the sake of one girl\u2019s fate, but agreed to \u201ctake a look\u201d at me to see if he had any ideas as to what might be done with or for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cJust remember, Aspasia, you have no father and no dowry. Worse, you\u2019re a glutton for food, and your education has made you a glutton for conversation. You are the very opposite of all that is desirable in a woman,\u201d Alkibiades said as the Painted Stoa came into sight. \u201cWhen you meet Perikles, you must act very sweetly to make up for your shortcomings.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thales believed that men were better than women, and Greeks better than all barbarians. Athenians carried the philosophy one step further, believing that citizens of Athens were better than all other Greeks. Perikles, though a member of the democratic faction, had been born an aristocrat and was said to be more imperious than any of his conservative opponents. I was terrified to meet him. Busts and statues of him appeared in public parks and buildings all over the city. He controlled the government, it was said, by the force of his personality, the breadth of his vision, and the power of his oratory, though the only office he held was that of general. Born into the nobility, he had changed the laws of governance so that common men might hold high offices. He was described as both grand and egalitarian. In his private life, he was parsimonious to the extent that the comic playwrights mocked his cheapness, but he spent public funds extravagantly. He was a paradoxical, enigmatic, and totally incomprehensible man. And I was to be at his mercy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Under the Painted Stoa, a gigantic pavilion with murals of the historical battles between the Greek people and their foreign enemies, I saw a head of dark, curly hair rising above a crowd of men. The owner of this hair stood quite still before the colossal painting of the Battle of Marathon, almost as if he belonged to the scene on the wall rather than with the men who vied for his attention. He was composed, appearing to listen to them, but with an air of detachment. The men were interrupting one another, gesticulating, laying out some sort of argument or perhaps issuing a request, but he merely shifted his eyes from one speaker to the next. Alkibiades waved at him, and he looked past his petitioners and met my eyes, staring at me for several moments. His face was inscrutable. He waved off the men who were making their appeal and walked toward us. He was a full head taller than me, even with my platform shoes. He had a long face, deep-set intense brown eyes, and a nose so straight it might have been drawn with a mathematician\u2019s ruler. He walked with purpose. His beard was short, dark, and curly. The comic playwrights who called him Onion Head, making fun of his long face and big head, had exaggerated. I thought he was solemn and handsome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He did not smile and he barely looked at Alkibiades.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo this is the lady in question.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes. My wife\u2019s sister, Aspasia of Miletus. Out of the goodness of my heart, I brought her with us to Athens when I was able to return from exile. She is under my guardianship.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It pained Alkibiades to pretend that he cared for me at all, but he was afraid that if he revealed to Perikles how awful he thought I was, it would foil his plans for getting rid of me. Perikles said nothing, but stared at me, and I, against my brother-in-law\u2019s instructions, stared back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nervous, Alkibiades continued. \u201cI had hoped to find her a respectable husband, but thanks to the law you passed while I was away, no citizen can marry her.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, then. There it is,\u201d Perikles said, as calmly as if he were commenting on the weather. Barely looking at Alkibiades, he took me by the arm and ferreted me away. I did not look back, but smiled to myself, imagining the look of shock on Alkibiades\u2019 face. It took me a few moments to realize that the most powerful man in Athens was taking me away and that I should consider being afraid of what he would do with me. But I could not fear him. I felt\u2014and without any reason\u2014that I was under his protection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We walked a short distance, saying nothing. Somehow, the quiet was not uncomfortable. Then he turned to me and said, \u201cI almost lost a great friend yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDid he malign you in some way?\u201d I asked, surprising myself with how natural my tone sounded, as if talking to a great statesman was something I did every day. I cannot explain it, but I felt that I had immediately connected with some essential thing inside this man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo. He is a great man, a great friend, and a great mentor. He might have died in my neglect. I should have been sending him money. By the time I remembered to look in on him, he was very ill.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWas he elderly?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes, quite so.\u201d Now he was looking at me with his great chestnut eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThen perhaps he was merely sick with old age and not because you were not there to tend to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBut he blamed me. I went to his bedside and begged him not to die, for I could not continue without his wise counsel. He answered, \u2018Perikles, even those who use a lamp must put oil in it so that it gives light.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAre you his only resource for sustenance?\u201d I asked, for it seemed impossible that a man held in esteem by Perikles would not be taken care of by other men too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHe was a great teacher. Unlike the sophists, he prefers not to take money for his labors. He is dependent upon me now. His neglect is a stain upon my character.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhy is he so special to you? Is he an elder in your tribe?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHis name is Anaxagoras. He taught me to reason and to inquire. He showed me\u2014and many others\u2014that the mysteries of the world had solid explanations that one might decipher with enough investigation. The world needs minds such as his. I do not want to be responsible for the loss of him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh? I am interested in pursuing these sorts of inquiries myself,\u201d I said. \u201cMight you give an example of some of his ideas?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He looked down at me from his position of greater height, skepticism on his face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHe has demonstrated that the sun is not a god but a very hot rock that is larger than the Peloponnese. He taught that the universe is not ordered by the whims of the gods, but by a pure intelligence that suffuses all things.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI believe that he must have been under the influence of my teacher, Thales of Miletus,\u201d I replied. \u201cI am certain that he devised this theorem first.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAre you trying to make me believe that you studied with Thales?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI am not trying to make you believe anything. The sophist tries to convince. The philosopher merely inquires. I am rather stating a fact, which you may believe or not according to your desire. Whether you believe me, sir, does not make what I say either true or false.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He did not answer me, but walked with me in silence. I had no idea where he was taking me, and I did not think I should ask. We walked up a hill to a dwelling not much larger than the one I had grown up in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThis is my home,\u201d he said. I was surprised. I thought that the leader of the Athenian people would live in a grand mansion. \u201cI\u2019ll have the slaves bring us a tray of food and some wine. Come with me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We walked through the courtyard and up the stairs to a bedchamber, and I, all the while, noticed the plain d\u00e9cor. \u201cThis is your room,\u201d he said. \u201cI am sure you\u2019ll be comfortable. Ask for whatever you like.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He shared a bowl of dates with me, and some cheese and bread, asking me various questions about Thales and my early life in Miletus. Then he left the house, and I wondered what I was supposed to do. The slaves were reluctant to speak with me. I explored the house in search of the women\u2019s quarters where I might find a grandmother or aunt or sister to indoctrinate me in the ways of the household, but there seemed to be no other women living on the premises. I remembered that Perikles had recently divorced his wife. Perhaps she had taken all of the women of the house with her back to her family\u2019s home. I resigned myself to confinement in the room he had said was mine and waited to see what was going to become of me. Perhaps he would offer me to one of his friends, or marry me off to some lesser man in his service. Finally, darkness settled over the household. All was quiet, so I lay on the bed and went to sleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Late into the night, I heard Perikles come into the room. \u201cWhy is a lamp not lit?\u201d he asked, standing over me in the dark.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBecause I do not sleep with a light,\u201d I answered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhy are you not prepared for me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBecause you did not share with me your plans for the evening.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He pulled the sheet from my body. I was not wearing any clothing. He looked at me dispassionately, sliding his hand up my leg. I pulled away, grabbing the sheet and hiding my nakedness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I braced myself, waiting for an outburst of ire, but he looked more baffled than insulted. \u201cYou are not honoring the terms of my agreement with Alkibiades.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat terms?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe had agreed that if I was pleased with the sight of you in the marketplace I would take you for my concubine.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYour concubine?\u201d I pulled the sheet tighter against my body and looked around the room for a means of escape. It was not a rational reaction, but all I wanted to do was run away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAlkibiades assured me that you are highly experienced in the ways of the courtesan. He said that you had pleased him many times.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMy own sister\u2019s husband? That would be depraved!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perikles shrugged. \u201cI have heard of such things.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSir, I am as virginal as Athena herself. I\u2019ve never been touched by any man, much less engaged in a sexual act.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSurely you are lying,\u201d he said, pulling away from me but scanning my face for a sign of dishonesty. \u201cI must tell you that money has changed hands, compensation for all the food you\u2019ve eaten since your father died, and for the two dresses that your sister made for you\u2014one out of linen and one out of wool of good quality.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He certainly had all the facts. Kalliope had squeezed the money for the fabric out of her meager household budget so that I would look nice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perikles looked bewildered, a sentiment that I both appreciated and welcomed as I let this information wash over me. After all, he could have done with me whatever he liked\u2014taken me against my will; returned me in a fury to my brother-in-law, who would surely have punished me severely for not pleasing the mighty Perikles; sent me to a brothel; or beaten me in anger and thrown me out into the darkness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHe said you were an expert in the sexual arts,\u201d Perikles insisted, trying to make sense of it all. \u201cI believe that is the precise word that he used.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I quickly assessed my options. Here was a man who was not, at least at this moment, using the supreme power that he held over me to bully me. With the exception of my father, I had not had the acquaintance of such an individual. Even the wise Thales lorded his superior status over me, always making me grateful for being allowed to listen to his words. I looked at Perikles\u2019 hands, which were surprisingly slender, with long tapered fingers and clean square nails. They were altogether delicate for a man who had distinguished himself as a general. I decided that I could imagine, in fact would invite, those hands laying themselves on my body.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI am not lying. I have never done this before. But I am willing to learn.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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![\"moretx\"](\"http:\/\/karenessex.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/moretx.png\")
<\/p>\n![\"buytx\"](\"http:\/\/karenessex.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/buytx.png\")
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